Jason Statham: Last action hero?

Pffftt, far from it. Who here can still recall ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’? I certainly can, and very vividly if I may add. Alongside ‘Snatch’, both these Guy Ritchie films managed to make me grow a fondness of the boys, particularly, Statham. Here we had a promising and talented young actor, who unfortunetly, succumbed to the consequences of bad casting. Once that snowball began rolling, we all soon became avalanched in a heap of mediocrity. In the last three years, Statham has managed to quietly squeeze his name into the ‘Action film’ genre, with blockbuster titles such as,

*repeats every single title in the voice of the “Moviefone” guy*

1. The Bank Job (2008) …. Terry Leather
2. War (2007) …. Special Agent Jack Crawford
   … aka Rogue Assassin (Australia) (Hong Kong: English title) (Philippines: English title) (Singapore: English title)
3. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007) …. Farmer
   … aka Schwerter des Königs – Dungeon Siege (Germany)
4. Crank (2006) …. Chev Chelios
5. The Pink Panther (2006) (uncredited) …. Yves Gluant
6. Chaos (2005/II) …. Det. Quentin Conners
   … aka Hit & Blast (Malaysia: English title)
7. Revolver (2005/I) …. Jake
8. London (2005) …. Bateman
9. Transporter 2 (2005) …. Frank Martin
   … aka Transporteur II, Le (France)
10. Cellular (2004) …. Ethan

Talk about moments in your life you will never get back. I clearly remember stepping out of ‘Transporter 2′ and saying, “Dude, we so could of bought a medium pizza from Papa Johns.” Instead, my buddies and I settled with ICEE stomach aches, and absolutely NO air-karate was had on the walk back to the car. So in return for being ninja’d out of my hard-earned ‘Dollar Menu’ money, I’ve decided to retouch a handful of Stathams recent movie posters. Hopefully, these will actually make you think twice about buying a movie ticket instead of not bothering at all.